Medical Humour - Medindia.net

Miscellaneous Quotes

From a Health Education Authority leaflet on Sexually Transmitted
Diseases :-
"We don't know why, but it seems that men don't get bacterial vaginosis."

An apology that appeared recently in The Safety And Health Practitioner :- SORRY. We would like to apologise to readers for the late arrival of our March issue, which was entitled 'Flammable Materials : Controlling the Hazard!' The delay was caused by a fire at the printers.

Advert in the BMJ :-
FOR SALE : Real bone half-skeleton, in better condition than seller. £250.

Seen in the BBC canteen in Manchester :-
In the interests of hygiene, please use tongues when picking up your baked potatoes.

From an article on stomach trouble :-
'Doctors are beginning to accept that stomach ulcers are infectious. They are caused by a bug called Helicopter'.

From More! :-
'Your chance of catching an STD during your period is greater, because the blood changes the PhD level in the vagina'.

From the Daily Mail :-
'Choking patients can now be incubated to maintain their airwaves!'

The Sunday Times explanation for the extinction of the dinosaurs :-
'The extinction may well have occurred when a steroid hit the Earth'.

Another Newspaper Misprint :-
'The Welsh international had to withdraw when the cut turned sceptic'.

From a Sunday Newspaper :-
'The surgeon said he'd removed my momentum - the funny apron of fat that covers the intestines'.

The Workshop Bugle recently carried a news report about a chap who'd happily
'recovered from a tuna of the kidney'.

An excerpt from Pulse :-
'If we are over-diagnosing asthma, then we must be under-diagnosing the other causes of nocturnal cough, such as post-natal drip'.

From a national newspaper :-
'Cutting down on fats reduces the risk of heart disease. Try to choose unsaturated fats, which are found in red meat, milk, cheese, coconut oil, palm oil and butter ...'

From the Daily Mail :-
'A transplant surgeon has called for a ban on "kidneys-for-ale" operations'.

From a Local Paper :-
'On the Sunday before Christmas, there will be a pot-luck supper in the church hall, followed by prayers and medication'.

From the South Wales Evening Post :-
'Cash plea to aid dyslexic children'.

An interesting health tip from Q magazine :-
'In America you can buy melatonln as a vitamin supplement. It is a hormone that your penile gland secretes when it gets dark'.

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