Submitted By: | Current Rating: 5.2 
A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $5000. The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things: 1 screw $ 1 Knowing how to put it in $4999 $5000 total The businessman never argued.
...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 4.2 
What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man traveling in her compartment. "I'm a naval surgeon," he replied. "Goodness!" said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days!" ....
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 4.5 
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next
to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid
leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and
I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I
had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and
when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream.
It's a breeze!"
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
The second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was
born. I couldn't walk for a year!" ...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 5.5 
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital.
The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his ...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1.7 
The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn.
"Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor.
"Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation had failed."...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1 
How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant....
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 1
When he awoke after his operation, the man was appalled to be told that by mistake the surgeon had cut the wrong leg off. Realising the mistake they had, of course, to amputate the bad leg as well. They were all very sorry !
Not surprisingly, he was not happy with this and when he had been discharged from hospital he went to see his lawyer.
"No problem, we'll sue them for everything they've got," he was told, "You have a cast-iron case." As this was going to be such a big case, they decided to seek the help of a famous New York expert lawyer who specialised in medico-legal problems, and the patient was to return to his lawyer when the expert's advice had been received.
Several weeks later he was called back to his lawyer who met him with a rather gloomy face.
"I'm sorry," he was told, "but the expert advises you not to proceed with the case as you have very little chance of winning it."
"WHAT !" exploded the patient. "It's an open and shut case. They cut off the wrong leg."
"Ah, but don't you see. You can't win the case as you haven't got a leg to stand on."
...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 7.9 
A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in
the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside. His eyes
fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful." Flattered,
the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later,
her husband woke up and said, "You're cute." Startled, she asked him,
"What happened to 'beautiful?'" He replied, "The drugs are wearing
off."...
Submitted By: | Current Rating: 5.5
A patient complained to his doctor, "I've been to three
other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis."
The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy,
then they'll see that I was right."...
Funny tit bits from everywhere. You're sure to laugh your brains out...
View allThe best of gooers from the future medical men, these are contributions from first year medical studens...
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