A man suffering from a severe case of flatulence goes to the doctor. Man: Doctor, I have a terrible (FARRRT!) problem. I just can't (FFFART!!) stop farting.
Doctor: That is an unusual complaint. Take off your clothes and lay, stomach down, on the couch.
The man does as he is told. The doctor examines him for a minute - the man farting all the time this is going on.
Doctor: Aha! This should be easy to cure. Excuse me for a moment.
The doctor goes over to a closet and pulls out a long pole with a sharp spike at one end. Man: (FAART!) Oh my God! (fart..) What are you going to do with (FFFARTT!!) that?!