- Journal of Relationships Research - (http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayjournal?jid=jrr)
Interesting Ways to Solve Relationship Problems
"A great marriage is not when the ´perfect couple´ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences." - Dave Meurer
Being in a healthy relationship is wonderful thing, but staying in a happy and healthy relationship for a long period of time requires hard work. Some hapless circumstances in the journey-of-life can result in awful relationship breakdown.
If you are concerned or want a successful relationship, here are the most essential tips and advice that can help your relationship flourish.
Early Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown
Knowing the early warning signals of relationship breakdown can help a couple resolve quarrels. Some of the early warning signs are:
- Recurring arguments, even for a silly thing, which never get resolved.
- Leading parallel lives and showing no interest in joint activities.
- Preoccupation with activities outside the relationship, leading to one partner feeling neglected.
- Complaints of loss of feeling - partners no longer speak of being in love.
- Becoming emotionally/sexually involved with a person outside the relationship.
- Recurring arguments over parenting.
Three Major Relationship Problems
All relationship problems stem from poor communication, sexual dissatisfaction and lack of trust. Take a look at these issues and easy ways to solve them.
I. Communication Problems in Relationship
A recent study has shown that lack of communication is the most common factor that leads to breakups (65 percent), followed by couples' inability to resolve conflict.
Tips:
- Develop your own marriage or relationship rules. People really like this idea and it helps create a conversation about their relationship.
- Before you get into a discussion, determine the emotional mood you and your partner are in. Ask your partner, “Is this a good time to talk?
- Rule out certain words such as divorce, ‘I am leaving’, and ‘I am out of here’ off the table - especially in the heat of an argument.
- If your partner is making a sincere effort to repair the relationship problem, then try and make a physical connection.
- Negotiate. It is not complaining, but it is an act of stating things clearly, without fighting or blaming, embarking on a new direction.
- Stay on topic. Don’t deviate from the real topic, once a conversation gets heated.
- Tone inflection plays a key role in communication. Just a small change in inflection in one word can change the course of the conversation. Nothing puts a person into defensive mode more than a statement that begins with “you.”
- Add humor! Be a little humorous!! Humor has a way of diluting and diffusing pressure and has astonishing positive results.
- Cooking and eating together help couples connect and nourish their body and relationship.
1. Social Media and Relationship
Today, social media creates the biggest communication problem in a relationship. “Social media has ruined my relationship!” That’s the cry of many people today! Here are four ways to keep social media from ruining your relationship:
2. Stop Being ‘Single’ Online
Let’s be honest. Social media is another form of online dating. People may message you secretly to get a feel for your readiness to be “more than just friends” with them. But, this has to be nipped in the bud by you, and it has to happen immediately!
3. Don’t Believe Your Own Hype
You may find yourself flattered because your social media “friends” may be showing you the attention that your partner hasn’t been showing you. The person online may be doing the same with his/her 100 other followers.
So, it’s time to begin communicating your needs to your partner instead of falling into a social media trap.
4. Stop It with the Sneaky Stuff
It will look very suspicious and make your partner very painful if you are really uncomfortable with them seeing your social media pages or interactions.
5. You Must Have Some Limitations
Place some limitations on yourself. No social media during dinner or during dates. Remember, your presence - physical and mental- means a lot to your partner.
II. Truth about Sex in Relationship
Researches reveal that most men and women don't think it's possible to maintain a happy and healthy relationship without good sex. Hence, sex is an important factor in relationship.
Tips:
1. Find Time for Sexual Conversation
Sexual conversation is of two basic types: the ones you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere. It is not inappropriate to tell your partner what feels good in the middle of lovemaking. However, it is best to wait until you're in a more neutral setting to discuss big problems, such as orgasm worries or mismatched desires.
You cannot protect your partner's feelings by faking an orgasm. By doing so, you're sliding down a slippery slope. The difficulty level skyrockets if the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment.
2. Educate Yourself
There are plenty of good self-help material are available for every type of sexual issue. Browse the internet or your local bookstore, get a few resources and use them to help you and your partner. For some people communicating directly would be too difficult. In that case, you can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to your partner.
3. Try Different Positions
Trying different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. Studies have shown that the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.
4. Exercise
Exercise is the foremost among the healthy habits that can improve your sexual functioning. Exercise physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, and aerobic exercise strengthens your heart and blood vessels and helps for good blood flow. Do some strength training. Don’t smoke. Use alcohol in moderation.
III. Trust in Relationship
It is trust that gives thrust to the relationship. One needs to be careful not to break trust if they really need to cherish a long-term relationship. Lying to your partner, concealing certain facts from him/her is harmful in any relationship. You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips:
- Do what you say you will do.
- Call when you say you will.
- Call to say you'll be home late.
- Don't lie - not even little white lies to your partner.
- Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling.
- Don't overreact when things go wrong.
- Respect your partner's boundaries.
- Never say things you can't take back and don't dig up old wounds
- Be on time and be consistent
Top Ten Relationship Advice for Women
1. Play with Him
It is the fact that you’re past your childhood. But it doesn’t mean you should act all grown up all the time! Playfulness can hold a healthy relationship together more than anything else.
2. Men are Easily Influenced
You can easily influence your man. If his close relatives and friends think you’re a dream catch, he’ll fall more in love and stay more in love with you.
3. He does not Understand
Most men don’t understand the art of chivalry, romantic gestures and romance. Instead of ending up with disappointment or giving up on him, show him the way by example, and he’ll learn to treat you with respect.
4. Listen to Him
Listen to his point of view before arguing. It’s the easiest way to prevent tempers from rising. And don’t be disdainful either!
5. Don’t Remind Him Past Failures
Don’t constantly remind him of his past failures. They are very sensitive when it comes to past mistakes.
6. Men can’t Read Minds
If you believe that men are naturally designed with some innate ability to read a woman’s mind, you are totally wrong. So speak your mind and he will listen to your thoughts.
7. He Doesn't Like Drama Queen
No guy likes a drama queen, who goes looking for ways to complicate the relationship.
8. Praise Him
Praise him for his achievements, even if it’s small, and then see the difference. He’ll try harder all the time just to win your praise.
9. No Silent Treatment
Ignoring him may seem like the best way to teach him a lesson. But truth is, the treatment won’t make him stop hurting you. It can only make him a better liar!
10. Insecurity Woes
Don’t allow your insecurities get the better of you. It is proven that sex appeal is all in your mind and how you project yourself.
Top Ten Relationship Advice for Men
1. Communicate with Her
Sit down and talk about feelings every once in a while. It’s better than living through a relationship with hidden dislikes and emotions.
2. Don’t Take Her for Granted
Just remember that she’s not obligated to do something for you just because you feel that way. After all, homemaking is not her exclusive job, nor taking care of you.
3. Show Your Appreciation
You know she’s a very important part of your life. Then, why don’t you have a hard time telling her how you feel? Learn to appreciate your woman with sweet words.
4. Surprise her Often
Do you remember how often you surprised your girl while you were wooing her? Why don’t you surprise your woman anymore? Start it again!!!
5. Don’t Make Major Decisions for Her Without Asking Her
This is one of wrong things that most guys do. No matter how big your financial role is in the relationship, you should never make major decisions on your woman’s behalf without asking her opinion.
6. Don’t Disrespect Her
Don’t disrespect her by staring at other women when she’s around. Also, respect her talents and hard work.
7. Be Honest
We’re all rather sensitive when it comes to criticisms. So, sugarcoating your words is always a nicer way to say a bad thing.
8. Indulge in Romantic Gestures
You should not stop wooing her just because you’ve won her over. Do something special frequently and make her smile.
9. Be the Sex God
Beautiful romance and sizzling sexual chemistry are the two very significant factors for a successful relationship. If you fail in even one of these two aspects, the relationship can start to go downhill. So make it work and bring out the sex god in you.
10. Protect Her
This is extremely important. As a man, be there for your woman when she needs you. Let her see that no matter what kind of issue she’s facing, you’re always there to support her and help her through.