Jokes by Medical Speciality

Psychiatry

Mental Escape

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling...

Going Nuts

A doctor at an insane asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his comman...

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Urology

What's a Prostate Problem?

A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a casual acquaintance walks in and ...

Password

A female computer consultant was helping a smug male set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. ...

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Cardiology

Doctor's Funeral

A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor fini...

A heart murmur

A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady o...

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Ophthalmology

How to charge?

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer: "As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say ...

Drunk Blind

A drunk staggered into a hospital's ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses.

He said, "They come out halfw...

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General surgery

Sudden awakening

The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn. "Why are all the blinds closed?" she asked her doctor....

A suitable donor

How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb? None. They would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant....

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Dentistry

Getting a Tooth Pulled

A man & wife entered a dentist's office.
Wife: I want a tooth pulled.
Dentist: Okay
Wife: I don't want gas or No...

Unusual Dental Visit

Dentist to Patient: (begging) " Would you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?" Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't a...

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General medicine

Chronic Laziness

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "N...

Try Mud Baths

A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him, "I have some very bad news for you. I'm afraid that you're afflicted with a fatal and incurable d...

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Neurology

Good and bad news

An elderly man complains to his wife about feeling a little worse for fear and after a lot of persuasion agrees to go and see a doctor.

The ...

What happened?

A distraught man ran into the doctor's office. "Doc!" The man screamed, "I've lost my memory!" "When did this happen?" asked the doctor. The man...

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Orthopedics

Hot Water or Cold Water

A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Saturday, the leg was very swollen and he was having difficulty wal...

A broken finger

A man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor: "It hurts when I press here" (pressing his side) "And when I press here" (pressing the other side...

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Obstetrics & Gynecology

How painful?

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, ...

Growth rate

A young woman, two months pregnant, went to see her obstetrician. He was in a hurry to leave on an emergency call, so he asked her to quickly bare her...

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ENT

Watching Football

A man with two badly burned ears went to the emergency room for medical treatment. "What happened" asked the doctor. "Well, my wife was ironing wh...

I would like to have a second opinion

I would like to have a second opinion A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it. Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out....

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Pediatrics

Definition of a Baby

They are made up of a long tube. One end is under constant activity and the other end has no sense of responsibility!!...

Childhood surgeries

Two little kids lined up for surgery are lying in stretchers outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you i...

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Psychology

Good pitch, no sale

An old man was very sick. So sick, in fact, that his family was gathered at the bedside. As families will do, they all were trying to cheer him up. Read more

Small remedy

There was this nervous patient whose imagination afflicts them with all kinds of ills which never materialize. one afternoon he staggered into the hou...

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Geriatrics

Lab Tests

A playboy old man suffering from diarrhoea and urinary incontinence goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for some urgent stool, urine and semen samples...

Bad News

A seventy-year old man goes to the doctor for a health check-up.

After some tests and checks, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his fac...

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Andrology

Perfect Husband

Name Eight qualities of a Perfect Husband -
Brave, Intelligent, Gentle, Polite, Energetic, Nutty, Industrious, Sensitive.

And if all else fa...

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Lifestyle

Keeping Secrets

Wife to Friend - You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

Husband to Friend - You tell a woman s...

real fact

IF NEWLY WEDS ARE CALLED " LOVE BIRDS" WHAT DO WE CALL THEM AFTER FEW YEARS OF MARRIAGE.? " ANGRY BIRDS ' ...

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Miscellaneous

We are the best of friends

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But ...

Get me an ambulance now..

A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help. Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!...

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Laughter Quotations

Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself for he shall never cease to be entertained.

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Miscellaneous quotes

'Faculty lines' from the big guys of Health care

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Conversations overheard

Funny tit bits from everywhere. You're sure to laugh your brains out...

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Funny Definitions

The best of gooers from the future medical men, these are contributions from first year medical studens...

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Adult Medical Humor

Adult Humor only for above 18 years

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Jokes by Medical Speciality

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Jokes by Medical Speciality

Psychiatry

Urology

Cardiology

Ophthalmology

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Dentistry

General medicine

Neurology

Orthopedics

Obstetrics & Gynecology

ENT

Pediatrics

Psychology

Geriatrics

Andrology

Lifestyle

Miscellaneous

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