Why Is It Easier to Confide in a Stranger Than in Someone Familiar?

Engaging in heartfelt discussions with unfamiliar individuals, whether it be with a random person at a park bench, a fellow passenger on a flight, or someone at a bar, sometimes feels easier than confiding in our closest friends. This intriguing dance of human interactions arises from a blend of psychological, sociological, and neuroscientific factors that influence this phenomenon.

Journalist Kaitlyn Wylde observed in Bustle that people often feel the need to unburden themselves of certain secrets but wish to avoid facing the reality of a world where those secrets are known.

Sharing such personal matters with a stranger provides a sense of release while still maintaining a safe distance from their personal lives. The assurance of not encountering that person again fosters a level of comfort that enables people to divulge anything without hesitation. This uncertainty, however, creates a certain ease, as judgments from strangers hold little weight when the likelihood of crossing paths again is minimal (1^✔ ✔Trusted Source
Secretive and close? How sharing secrets may impact perceptions of distance

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The absence of emotional attachment during these exchanges, combined with the low risk of repercussions, fosters a feeling of safety that encourages emotional expression and openness.

Unlike in established social connections, where assumptions and expectations may inhibit self-expression, interactions with strangers are free from such baggage, enabling people to share highly personal information without fear of damaging their reputation within their social circles.

Emotional Attachment: Does it Make Confiding to Close ones Difficult?

According to an article in Quartz, our closest relationships are complex, and confiding in those whom we are emotionally attached to, can be daunting. The myriad roles a person may play in our lives can lead to uncertainty about the kind of support they might provide. Hence, we find solace in confiding in someone completely detached from our social circle.

Conversations with strangers offer a unique opportunity to re-evaluate our lives from a fresh perspective. Strangers can provide unbiased advice, impartial opinions, and new viewpoints, which may not be accessible within our regular social circles.

Engaging with Strangers: An Escape from our Thoughts

Psychologist Louise Lambert explains that engaging with strangers allows us to escape our own thoughts and negative self-focus. Strangers break the cycle of negative thinking, providing a refreshing mental diversion.

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In summary, sharing our thoughts and feelings with strangers comes with a sense of liberation and safety, offering an escape from the complexities and expectations of established relationships. These encounters present an opportunity to gain new insights and unfiltered feedback, making them valuable and psychologically beneficial experiences.

Perhaps that’s one of the reasons many people benefit from support groups; they find solace in the validation and support offered by strangers, which they were otherwise denied by the people in their lives.

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Turns out, opening up to strangers is good for us. “Since encounters with strangers are generally characterized by low conflict, they are likely to elicit kind, prosocial behaviors,” writes psychologist Noam Shpancer in Psychology Today. “The psychological benefits of social support… may serve to attenuate the effects of stress and offer one a sense of purpose, hope, and meaning, thus nurturing psychological resilience.”

That doesn’t, however, mean that we’d be able to open up and be our authentic selves with every Tom, Dick, and Harry we cross paths with. Honest, no-holds-barred interactions with strangers typically occur in contexts where either one’s anonymity is preserved or the stakes for future interactions are low.

What also makes it easier to open up to strangers is that we don’t necessarily have to worry about bookending everything we say with social niceties. This also increases the appeal of the advice we might receive from strangers in return: they can be blunt in their takes because they too don’t have to worry about the way we might feel about their responses.

“Surely it depends on what context you meet, but if you’re sitting at a bar, telling your bartender you cheated on your partner, he’s probably not going to make you feel better about it. Maybe that’s what you need,” notes Wylde. “This person doesn’t know you. They don’t know your reputation. They don’t know what people think of you and the value of your word. It’s nice to talk to someone who can speak to you without knowing your baggage or holding a bias.”

This is also why Reddit — a social networking site that allows users to operate under a veil of anonymity or pseudonymity — fosters the kind of conversations it does. Unlike Instagram and Twitter, where we’re playing up the events of our lives to appear “cool,” “happy,” and “intelligent” to our followers, we tend to be a lot more authentic on Reddit — albeit with a corresponding spate of disadvantages.

As Oskar Tokarski wrote: “It’s relatively normal to feel at ease while talking to strangers and feel uncomfortable when you’re talking to people you’re close with. We all are building walls around our hearts and minds. We don’t want to hurt, feel rejected, unwanted, or disliked.”

Reference:

1. Secretive and close? How sharing secrets may impact perceptions of distance - (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7289348/)

Source-Medindia